In Which The Four-Year-Old Takes an Unwanted Trip Down Memory Lane
One Devil’s Cake: 3 1/2 cups of sugar, 1 1/4 cups of butter, 1 1/2 cups of very dark cocoa, 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips, and 3 Tbsp of (decaf) coffee, applied to 4 1/2 year old after dinner = 2 1/2 hours of continuous galloping. Priceless. And not in a good way.
Mother, after mashing up a banana to use as the middle layer in a traditional Icelandic devil’s cake, thinks, “Mashed bananas were the first food I ever fed to The Four-Year-Old. I bet she’d think that was cool.”
Without putting any further thought into it, Mother digs in the silverware drawer for a Gerber baby spoon leftover from those halcyon early foodie days. Prepping it with a bit of mashed banana, she carries it into the playroom where The Four-Year-Old is relaxing in front of a Clifford cartoon.
Mother, excitedly: “Look, The Four-Year-Old, it’s the first food I ever gave to you as a baby! Want to try some?”
The Four-Year-Old, totally repulsed, scrambles under the couch cushions in her haste to get away from the scary slimy spoonie thing: “What. Is. That?”
Mother, still trying to keep that sentimental feeling: “Mashed bananas. You used to love them.”
The Four-Year-Old, hand over mouth, just shakes her head and looks vaguely sick.
Mother, abashed, walks back to kitchen, and dumps the rejected bananas into the sink. She pulls out a five from her wallet and puts it in The Four-Year-Old’s Future Therapy tin. We may not be able to fully fund her college, but by George, her therapy sessions will be completely covered.
CATERPICKLES 
7 Responses to “In Which The Four-Year-Old Takes an Unwanted Trip Down Memory Lane”
snort mornimg coffee out my nose funny. seriously.
LikeLike
This comment made my whole day.
LikeLike
I’m constantly reminding myself, it’s not a matter of *if* I’ll traumatize him, just a matter of how. So funny. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
So true, little grasshopper. Yes, despite our best efforts, they will all become teenagers and only the very strongest teenagers can survive having parents without at least some professional help.
LikeLike
[…] In which The Four-Year-Old takes an unwanted trip down memory lane (Caterpickles) […]
LikeLike
[…] In Which The Four-Year-Old Takes an Unwanted Trip Down Memory Lane […]
LikeLike
[…] The Most Popular Eating Banana Might Soon Go Extinct (Smithsonian): I must say, this is a more frightening prospect for Mommyo than The Eight-Year-Old. […]
LikeLike