In Which The Four-Year-Old Takes an Unwanted Trip Down Memory Lane

One Devil's Cake: 3 1/2 cups of sugar, 1 1/4 cups of butter, 1 1/2 cups of very dark cocoa, 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips, and 3 Tbsp of (decaf) coffee, applied to 4 1/2 year old after dinner = 2 1/2 hours of continuous galloping. Priceless. And not in a good way.

Mother, after mashing up a banana to use as the middle layer in a traditional Icelandic devil’s cake, thinks, “Mashed bananas were the first food I ever fed to The Four-Year-Old. I bet she’d think that was cool.”

Without putting any further thought into it, Mother digs in the silverware drawer for a Gerber baby spoon leftover from those halcyon early foodie days. Prepping it with a bit of mashed banana, she carries it into the playroom where The Four-Year-Old is relaxing in front of a Clifford cartoon.

Mother, excitedly: “Look, The Four-Year-Old, it’s the first food I ever gave to you as a baby! Want to try some?”

The Four-Year-Old, totally repulsed, scrambles under the couch cushions in her haste to get away from the scary slimy spoonie thing: “What. Is. That?”

Mother, still trying to keep that sentimental feeling: “Mashed bananas. You used to love them.”

The Four-Year-Old, hand over mouth, just shakes her head and looks vaguely sick.

Mother, abashed, walks back to kitchen, and dumps the rejected bananas into the sink. She pulls out a five from her wallet and puts it in The Four-Year-Old’s Future Therapy tin. We may not be able to fully fund her college, but by George, her therapy sessions will be completely covered.

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About Shala Howell

I write about wildly curious kids, rabbits who hunt dragons, and 1880s Boston. When I’m not scratching my head over pesky characters who refuse to do things how I want them done or dreaming of my next book (which will of course be much easier to write than the current one), I blog about life with a very curious Ten-Year-Old at Caterpickles.com, muse about books and the writing life at BostonWriters.blog, or tweet about books, writing, science, & things that make me smile at @shalahowell.
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7 Responses to In Which The Four-Year-Old Takes an Unwanted Trip Down Memory Lane

  1. ain't liza says:

    snort mornimg coffee out my nose funny. seriously.

    Like

  2. Victoria says:

    I’m constantly reminding myself, it’s not a matter of *if* I’ll traumatize him, just a matter of how. So funny. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    • shalahowell says:

      So true, little grasshopper. Yes, despite our best efforts, they will all become teenagers and only the very strongest teenagers can survive having parents without at least some professional help.

      Like

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