How to Catch a Polar Region Allosaurus

By The 4-Year-Old

  1. Dress in something flashy for camouflage. Red shirts are best. They will distract the Allosaurus into thinking you’re dead.
  2. Set dinosaur baits in various places in the Allosaurus’s known stomping grounds (see Figure 1).

    Figure 1. Place baits in various spots in your prey's known territory.

  3. Wait for a polar region meat-eating dinosaur to eat your bait. Stealing your mother’s iPhone helps with the tedium of the ambush hunting method.
  4. If the bait isn’t attractive enough, you may try herding the Allosaurus toward the bait. Disguise yourself as a T. Rex by slashing at the air with two fingers on each hand as you stalk your prey. Don’t forget to growl.
  5. Make sure the Allosaurus eats the bait. When he gets full, he falls asleep so he’s an easy target.
  6. You catch the Allosaurus the same way you catch a T. Rex. Grab the tail and then have an adult grab the body.
  7. Say in your softest voice, “Go to sleep now, here you go. Have some more bait.”
  8. Collect all the dinosaur baits and put them out again in one spot (the hunter’s lair is best for this). Line up the baits (the spiky parts go in the back) so that the Allosaurus can eat them very fast and get even sleepier. With any luck, he’ll take a nap right in your hunter’s lair. (See Figure 2.)

Figure 2. Line up the baits, spiky bits in back, just outside the hunter's lair. (Note, this will mean putting any Ankylosaurs upside-down.)

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About Shala Howell

Writer of things ranging from optical network switching white papers to genetic testing patient education materials to historical fiction set in an 1880s asylum. When I’m not scratching my head over pesky characters who refuse to do things how I want them done or dreaming of my next book (which will of course be much easier to write and research than the current one), my writerly self can be found sifting through the stacks in my church’s archives looking for a few good stories to tell, blogging about life with a very curious Six-Year-Old at Caterpickles.com, or musing about books and the writing life at BostonWriters.wordpress.com.
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2 Responses to How to Catch a Polar Region Allosaurus

  1. Pingback: “How big is a zombie?” | CATERPICKLES

  2. Pingback: If you give a Five-Year-Old a fossil set… | CATERPICKLES

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