Speakin’ Texan
The Five-Year-Old, who is a rabid Auburn Tigers fan: “Grandpa, I like the way they say ‘Awl-burn’ in Texas.” Grandpa: “Awl-burn?” The Five-Year-Old, with a hint…
In which The Five-Year-Old tells it like it is (again)
Mommyo: “The Five-Year-Old, don’t forget to put those pillows and blankets back on the couch once you’re done playing with your fort.” The Five-Year-Old, petulantly: “I…
Breaking News: The Five-Year-Old Hits Scholastic Milestone!
In line with my commitment to share with you important news pretty soon after it happens, I present this breaking news report on The Five-Year-Old’s scholastic progress. This morning at 8:07 a.m. The Five-Year-Old tried to convince me she was too sick to go to school for the very first time.
The Five-Year-Old makes a Christmas list
One night as The Five-Year-Old kicked up her feet in her favorite chair, her thoughts naturally turned to Christmas. The Five-Year-Old: “Daddyo, for Christmas I want…
The Five-Year-Old picks up
Overheard down the hall from The Five-Year-Old’s bedroom… The Five-Year-Old, panting: “Boy, glacial boulders are heavy.” A few minutes later, The Five-Year-Old, in a tone of…
Breaking News: The Five-Year-Old is a grandmother!
Overheard while passing by The Five-Year-Old’s room at storytime… The Five-Year-Old: “Daddyo, do you know all those imaginary friends I have?” Daddyo, cautiously: “Yes.” The Five-Year-Old,…
Best Conspiracy Theory Ever
The Five-Year-Old: “Mommyo, when you saw the Easter Bunny, was there anything flying over him?” Mommyo, guardedly: “No.” The Five-Year-Old: “Phew! So he wasn’t being controlled…
If only science worked that way
After a bout of kitty asteroid tossing, The Five-Year-Old naturally wanted to review the results of the experiment with her father.
The Five-Year-Old Calls for a Consult
The Five-Year-Old, from the top of the stairs to her parents in the kitchen below: “Daddyo, I think there’s a biohazard up here. I just want…
“Daddyo, what did our ancestors grow out of?”
Overheard when passing by The Five-Year-Old’s bedroom while storytime was in progress. The Five-Year-Old: “Daddyo, what did our ancestors grow out of?” Father: “Oh, lots of…
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