How to get your child to hate St. Patrick’s Day

And maybe vegetables.

Mommyo: “It’s St. Patrick’s Day, The Five-Year-Old, do you know what that means?”

The Five-Year-Old, excitedly: “The leprechauns filled my pot with leprechaun money?”

Mommyo: “No.”

The Five-Year-Old, persistently: “You filled my pot with leprechaun money?”

Mommyo: “No. It means everything we eat today has to be green. We’re eating nothing but boiled spinach, baby.”

The Five-Year-Old, slightly panicked: “Mommyo, you could buy a green dough for waffles. My preschool did it, and it was really nutritious.”

No spinach was harmed in the making of this waffle.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, y’all.

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