Goodnight, The Five-Year-Old
Overheard right about story time on a recent holiday eve…
The Five-Year-Old: “Goodnight, sleep tight, Grandpa.”
Grandpa: “Good night, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”
The Five-Year-Old, confidently: “They won’t. I don’t even have bed bugs. It’s a brand new bed!”

Nothing to see here. (Photo of bed bug detection dog by Elgaard via Wikipedia. You didn’t think I’d make you look at a picture of a bed bug, did you?)
What are you thinking?